Who ate all the pies? Oh, that'll be me then!

Hiya Guys,
Another fun-packed trip to RSCH 2day for my regular session of stabbing and sitting around bored shitless. Actually, not too bad today, since I got my Velcade up pretty quickly and had a good long chat with a fellow poor bastard having the same treatment - always good to compare notes with someone.
Still pondering on the the whole donor transplant thingy, but have definitely decided not to go for it straight away. The Marsden have said that the earliest date they could offer for admission is 4th Nov, so I'd be unlikely to have more than 3 weeks or so between coming out and Christmas. Since it's only the second one since losing Mark, I think It'd be good for Em and I to be at home and to not have me doing the dying swan on the sofa. And there'll be lots of appts before going in and lots to organise and I really need a bit of a break. What's more, I haven't actually had it confirmed that I only need 4 cycles of Velcade and the 4th Nov is based on that being the case. So, all things considered, if I do go ahead, then it won't be before the New Year.
Still very unsure about whether to go ahead at all - on one hand, it's the only chance (emphasis on the word chance ) and on the other hand, there's the whole Graft versus Host Disease thing (which looks like it could potentially be a real barrel of laughs). Not to mention the 10-12% mortality rate in the first 3-4 months. Great. I'd love someone to to tell me what to do, but I know that can't happen.
Oh well - think I'll try to stop thinking about it til we're back from hols. Off on Fri, so will blog again when we're back.
Squidgy floppy love handles all round (esp. on me - got weighed 2day - thought weight loss was a perk of this cancer lark! Shows just how fucking wrong, and fat, you can be! )
Amanda xxx