Happy New Year!

Hello All,
Hope you all had a good Christmas/New Year - I did, though it proved to be rather busier than I expected. All good fun though, except for the raging cold that I've had and then given to everyone else! It's been Mucus City here, chez Skelton. Drying up now tho, thankfully.

Well, the "fun" all kicks off tomorrow, with the first of a slew of appointments, both at Brighton and the Marsden, to see if I'm fit enough for the transplant. Just been idly Googling "fludarabine+tbi" - fuck! Won't do that again in a hurry! There's some scary shit out there on the web. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss...

Well, off to Brighton tomorrow for a heart scan and some other tests. I think they mainly comprise of a great deal of sitting around on my fat arse waiting - one of those taking bloods at various intervals tests. At least my friend Alison is coming with me, so I'll have some company. Then it's off to the Marsden on Tuesday for radiotherapy consultation and planning and to have more bloods done and bloods done yet again on Weds, tho I'll get those ones done locally. The end of the week is the really fun time - bone marrow test on Thurs and line insertion on Fri. Really dreading the latter - bleeding painful last time! That one was done at the Marsden and I'm hoping Brighton will be a bit more heavy-handed with the sedation!

Don't mind admitting that I'm getting a bit scared now. Bit tired of putting on a brave face about it all too, but Em's so scared and worried about it all, that I don't have much choice, most of the time. I suppose I kind of don't want to let all my fears out - scared I won't be able to stuff them all back in! Which I need to if I don't want to bottle it and run for the hills, screaming "Fuck off! Not doing it! Aaargh!" Really must stop reading scary stuff on the internet. Oh well, don't really have a choice, do I? Since I seem to relapse really quickly after treatments, it's allograft or bust, isn't it? Hmm... Rocks and hard places spring to mind...

I'll try to post again later this week and fill you in on what, I think, will prove to be a really fun-packed week (not!)

With much love and donor stem cells,
A xxx